Like a beautiful house or big city skyscraper each of us has a façade.
In the house or skyscraper the façade can hide many defects – substandard or faulty electrical components, bad insulation, watered down or weakened concrete, and the like. I’m reminded of Hollywood’s major movie production, The Towering Inferno, about an exquisite Los Angeles high rise office and condo tower where the developers utilized materials which were not up to contracting codes. The movie made tons of money for the stars, the executives in charge, and it likely drew the attention of reputable building firms. An exciting movie, it pointed out the greed and dishonesty of some among us.
The movie got me to thinking about my façade, my outer skin and the DNA materials used in building me. Through the years I’ve found that I’m quite a complex piece of wiring and my outer façade can show multiple personalities. Having said that, there is really only one of me…it takes a lot of self-appraisal and honesty to take this further, but, what the ‘hey’, there’s nothing to fear but fear itself.
My façade presents a favorable impression, for the most part…fairly good-looking guy, happy go lucky personality, booze-induced jokester, non-slob, and, in my youth, quite the lady chaser and man about town. My façade gave me a number of opportunities for fame and glory…I was lucky enough to do some acting – TV commercials, some film work, stage play, and modeling. While proud of the work in front of cameras it never went to my head, as they say. I had a fun-go at life, married, divorced, had despair and loneliness touch me, and was an otherwise decent guy. Much in my life will sound familiar to many readers. It is a tale often told.
The question, what is under the façade?
The quick answer: a kid who never grew up! I hate the word, maturity, likely because I never reached it. It is a rather sad commentary, I know, but just trying for honesty here. My childhood was mobile absurdity! Family disconnect! State-run institutions! AND, finally, a wonderful hard-working mother who brought a brother and sister back from the shadows to the extent that she could.
Beneath the façade are so many admissions… There is shyness, yet the façade shows a push-forward would-be comic. There is enough insecurity to wire several bodies, enough emotional debris to fill some ultra-large dumpsters, and just enough God-given gift of talent to line up words in a rational way…maybe with a few careless and proofreading goofs, not so much masterpieces but still darned good writing – and, I do say so myself. Twelve books written, working on the thirteenth, and approaching two hundred blog posts, I have had a lot to say, and perhaps a lot to hide. It is my belief that all of me is there on and between the lines of everything I have written.
Of course, there is also self-delusion in the facade! You know, thinking I am better than I really am. I am no ‘writing genius’, no John Grisham or Nelson DeMille, but my books are darn good, non-convoluted, and generally well-written – if you give me a pass on those aforementioned careless and proof goofs. Hey, my books are likely a lot better than even I believe them to be… So, mix some hope with the self-delusion in that façade.
One last point to make about my façade, I don’t like to sell – back to the shyness thing – but I’ve been in my life a top sales person and a great schmoozer. Following up on this point, I’m more an introvert than an extrovert – which will likely shock a lot of folks. I am a ‘let’s stay home’ kind of guy, watch TV, read a book, or write one.
One thing I do like to sell is freedom and liberty, so I voted yesterday, favor very much the results of the mid-term election and truly hope our country can get back on the right track – you know, better economy, more jobs, more prosperity, aid for those who truly it, more serious and speedy attention to our borders, more education options, a drug policy that has a chance at working, more state of the art security, a sound foreign policy with experts running it, and, with more urgency, kill the people who are trying to kill us. That is something else you will also find beneath my façade…there is no patience within me for mindless and ruthless thugs who vow to kill us and cut off heads in the name of their Deity.
My books of fiction and non-fiction are on Amazon – mystery, suspense, romance, memoir, politics. If you are interested in more information on my façade and the wiring underneath, check out this fictional memoir of me – ninety per cent of it is true (just changed my paternal- side names and wrote it with a two-track narrative)… There is inside the book some historical tidbits. Hope you read it and enjoy it.
Billy Ray Chitwood – November 5, 2014
BUY SITES FOR The Cracked Mirror – Reflections…
http://twitter.com/brchitwood (@brchitwood) – Follow me.
http://www.goo.gl/fuxUA (IAN – Independent Author Network) – Bio and my Books
Feel free to respond and thanks for indulging the blog awards that follow… I’m rather proud of them.