I Wonder

Bill Chitwood

Billy Ray Chitwood 

I Wonder

Many years ago, on my way home from a ‘boy’s night out’, after a delightful evening and after planting one more goodnight kiss on the lovely lips of my fair lady, the incurable romantic within me possessed my heart and mind. Still feeling the mild vapors from a few drinks, I began to sing, the words coming from some source I’ve yet to adequately and poetically identify. A soft ballad it was, words and music all, and it stayed with me. Arriving at my bachelor apartment I set up my recording device and sang the song into the mike…later on I would have my cabaret piano friend write the sheet music based on that taping – I feel music but cannot write the sweet symbols on those ‘key’ lines…through the years I would write a number of songs in the same fashion.

Having reached the golden years, I still occasionally sing my songs while showering, while driving along on a trip. The songs are important to me as they convey some pivotal moments in my life, and I still occasionally write them. With today’s knowledge exploding, with technology reaching its golden years as well, there comes a reckoning point for me, a point of irrelevance, a dinosaur among the SEO and APPS experts of the worldwide web. I feel so frustrated most of the time I’m on my laptop, convinced there is so much more I could be doing to enhance and promote my BRAND – I assume this means me and my books… Anyway, I sing ‘I Wonder’ quite often these days.

With all events and hard news delivered with such rapidity and urgency in this new age of technology, it is so easy to feel anxiety and confusion about the world, about our nation and its direction. Like so many others, ‘I Wonder’ why so many people can have gaping differences of opinion, why there is so much anger and hate, why ‘common sense’ seems to be absent from important decision making, why greed and special interests infect our politicians, why we the people are blatantly fed the political soup of the day, why barbarians want to chop off heads and burn people alive, why we bargain with people who hate us, on and on.

Perhaps it is simply the romantic me, the me who remembers calmer news days, people caring for people, problems, yes, but more decisive action to fix the negative issues. I don’t hear too many ballads these days, just the jarring sounds of musical instruments drowning out the singers. Then, again, I don’t hear so well anymore. Come to think of it, there is not much I can do well anymore…

But I can still write my books and my songs, my books getting a fair share of 5-Star reviews. So I can find reason to awake in the morning, work on my writing and try to find out about those SEOs and APPs that might make one or more of my twelve books go viral.

‘I Wonder’? Maybe history just keeps repeating itself. Maybe I’m a malcontent! ‘I Wonder’? My wife loves me! I love my wife! Things are not so bad!

I Wonder?

(Here’s the song I wrote all those years ago…think soft ballad!)

I Wonder

I see trees with green leaves in winter

I see the moon where the sun should stand

I see a lake where there should be a meadow

A forest where there should be sand.

And, with all this, I Wonder:

Can life be merely a dream?

A dream that can build

A love that is real…

A love to last eternally?

I Wonder!

I Wonder!

Oh, how I Wonder!


I hear a song with soft words of silence

I see a lark when there is no bird

There’s a horn when there should be no music

A sound that should not be heard.

And, with all this, I Wonder:

Can life be merely a dream?

A dream that can build

A love that is real…

A Love to last eternally?

I Wonder!

I Wonder!

Oh, how I Wonder!

                                                                                (©Billy Ray Chitwood)      

 Billy Ray Chitwood – April, 2015

Some links:


http://billyraychitwood.weebly.com (Bio and my 12 books)

http://twitter.com/brchitwood (@brchitwood)

https://thefinalcurtain1.wordpress.com (My blog)


Nine Blog Awards, including:

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18 thoughts on “I Wonder

  1. Your song reminds me of Del Shannon’s “Runaway” There is a verse:

    I wonder
    I wah-wah-wah-wah-wonder
    Why, why, why, why, why
    She ran away

    Your song is not about a woman running away, but perhaps about life, time, and all that wanders away much too quickly.

    Poetry, Billy Ray xox


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Olga,
      So sorry to be late in responding…have eye problems & likely will be 2-3 weeks before I’m back full strength. As always, thanks for your kind words…just might surprise you and record ‘I Wonder’ A Cappella. ♥♥♥


  2. Sorry to hear about your eye problems, Billy Ray. Yes, I agree, the world has changed, but, I am not sure if I agree about the gaping differences of opinion; nowadays, I feel that we have ‘blocks’ of very similar opinion (possibly because of social media) – the individual is very rapidly disappearing.


  3. I was looking at my Youtube channel the other day and saw your song again, Billy Ray. It was wonderful! Singing is a great way to express yourself.
    When you talk about ‘common sense’ in this post I totally agree. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of it in the world anymore. What was once common is now not so common. Have a wonderful week xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, dear Dianne,
      Sorry I’m a bit tardy getting back to you — just didn’t check this site for a few days… Also, continuing my whining, I’ve had cataract surgery and the right eye has given me some problems…
      It’s difficult to grasp just what is happening in our world today – maybe the earth’s 4orbit and the moon are playing around with our sensibilities!
      I was so happy to see your new blog…I assume your long absence means you were writing another super novel…if so, let me know the launch date so I can order or pre-order.
      Missed you, dear lady… Hope you, hubby, and family are continuing to enjoy your piece of paradise… ♥♥♥

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So sweet of you, Diane… Have the eye doctor’s follow-up appointment this Friday – my regular doctor tomorrow! Feeling better. Thanks so much for your kind words… This eye business has been going on since the beginning of the year – hopefully, all will go well on Friday. All good wishes to you.


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